I really feel tired about what had i done for this long time . If everyone i knew asked my help , i will help them with all my strength because they are my friends , my beloved family members or someone that i don't know them . I think that this is a compulsory job for me to do that since they asked for my help .
When i was standard 1 , i seldom get the love or something that relavant with this because i am the elder son in the family. The main role of my duty is to take care my brothers and do my thing in my effort . I still can remember the feeling when no ones will ask my feeling include my own parents because they need to take care their job and my little brothers . They never ask me about anything on me . This is bcause they think that i can handle it well due to i am the elder . At this situation , i can understand them .
However , i still have 1 people that really care on me , that is my grandfather . Every moment that i stay with him , i still recall back although it happenned when i was 5 years old at that time . For example , every time i went to his house , he sure will bring me to buy anything that i want or ask me anything include my academic result , my friend or anything . This make me felt warm and love . I really have a wonderfull memory on that moment . However , when i was standard 6 , my grandfather suddenly passed away .When i knew about it , i started to ask myself about why i don't spend my time with him . Everytime , my mum asked me to go my grandfather's house , i rejected her because i felt bored when i at there . I rather stay at home and play my Play station better than go there . I really hated me because i make a stupid mistake that make me felt regret and guity for my whole life .
After this thing happenned on me , i started to scare to lost anything from me . Hence , i will do all my best to retain my family relation , friendship or others . I started to put me in the second place in my heart , the first place always will be the person who i knew . This action last for about 10 years . I really felt tired and no more deermination to continue it now . I really want to stop it ....... let stop it for now ......
Good bye the old of me !!!!! Welcome the new of me !!!!!!
1 comment:
Sometimes, we don't have to change ourselves by purposes. We will change when we meet something, eventually. It's because we realize that we can't always be the one we want to be. Because we are not alone in this world.
You're not alone. At least, I'm still here, never ever thinking of giving up on yourself.
= Kenneth =
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